Author: admin

Questions

Where do you read?

admin

Lots of us read to our children. The benefits are well known and so for most of us it just becomes part of the bedtime routine.  Many of us also read with our kids during the day, and certainly once they start school you’re encouraged to sit with them while they embark on their own journeys into the magical world of books. 

When they’re babies and toddlers we know that reading improves a child’s vocabulary and language skills. Like anything in life, the more we do something the better we become at it and reading is no exception; it’s exercise for the brain! It improves concentration in children as they learn to sit still and focus on the story.  And as well as teaching kids about the world around them, other countries, cultures and people, it helps them to develop empathy, when you encourage children to imagine how they would feel in the same situations as the characters. 

When I was little, I adored reading.  I would get lost in a book for hours!  I would sit on bed and devour book after book, imagining myself entering adventures and magical worlds. As Thea starts to read more and more independently, I often wonder if she’ll grow to love reading as much as I did (and still do when I make the time!).  So last summer, when we decorated a new bedroom for her, I knew I wanted to have some areas that could be cosy reading corners for her.  A beautiful bed with lots of gorgeous throw pillows is one place of course!

And a cosy cushion filled teepee is another!

And a blank space on top of a good old Ikea Stuva storage bench, became another spot with the aid of an oversized floor cushion, some Great Little Trading Company shelves, and a wooden read sign we bought in a little shop in Rye last summer.

I guess I was working on the old ‘if you build it they will come’ theory.  Create some spaces that you’d want to curl up in with a good book, and hopefully, we’ll create a child who loves to read.

And a child who loves to read?  Well, the world is their oyster right?

Opinion

Fairytales & Nursery Rhymes? Bestsellers or Balderdash?

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A few years ago, before Thea Chops Books was even a twinkle in the eye, I used to write a blog.  I published a post called “What do old fashioned stories teach our children? Answer: very little!” The idea for the post came about as I sat listening to someone singing the old nursery rhyme, Hot Cross Buns. After they finished singing I commented / joked, “What if you actually have daughters?  If you have daughters then don’t your sons get any hot cross buns? Do the sons go hungry if you have daughters?” To which the singer replied, “Oh you always read far too much into these things, it’s just a nursery rhyme.”.

And it got me thinking about whether it really was just a nursery rhyme. 

Or should we be more concerned with the messages contained within those songs that we sing to our children, from day one? 

Nursery rhymes, fairytales and children’s stories, are some of the first words heard by babies. And we sing them and read them on repeat!  “Don’t sing it again mummy, I can tell you’re tired from the broken sleep I forced you to endure last night.” said NO CHILD EVER.

But, words are powerful.

They have the power to make us laugh, cry, or fear.  Poorly chosen words at the wrong moment is like gunpowder on a naked flame.  And these words from rhymes and stories, the messages contained within, they have an impact on the young minds listening, and they help to shape a child’s view of the world, of their place in it, of their worth.

I started writing to see if I could create stories that give children more empowering messages, and teach boys and girls that they are each other’s equals.  To teach them that accepting one another just as they are, is the best way to live happily. 

So I was writing this old blog post, and I started to think about some of the old fashioned nursery rhymes that have been told to kids for centuries. Generations of children have been shaped by the tales of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and the big bad wolf.  And the messages within these tales?  They’re horrendous!!  Don’t believe me?  Let me give you my take on that much loved classic:

Goldilocks and the Three Bears

A little girl (no older than about ten) goes for a walk in the woods.  Why a young child is walking alone in a forest is anyone’s guess, and though we should encourage our children to be independent, and facilitate their sense of adventure, a stroll alone through the deep dark wood, is at best going to mean an encounter with a Gruffalo.

After stumbling upon a house, and getting no reply to a knock on the door, what does little Goldi do?  She presumes they’re not in, turns around, and heads back through the woods to find her parents, who are worried sick that she’s wandered off alone.  No. That’s not what Goldilocks does.  She wanders into someone else’s home to have a nose around.  

Not content with her amateur attempt at Through the Keyhole (who lives in a place like this? Three scary ass bears, that’s who, now run for your life), she tries three bowls of porridge, replacing the spoon back into each bowl.  And after her germs have been suitably spread, and breaking a small chair, she then decides to have a lie down in each of the three beds, before snuggling in and going to sleep.  

When Mr & Mrs Bear arrive home they find young Goldi napping away in their baby’s bed.  And what does the rumbled miss do?  She runs off never to be seen again.  No apology.  No, ‘I’m sorry I broke into your home, ate your food, smashed a chair and slept in your child’s bed.’  No consequences for someone who should at the very least be charged with unlawful intrusion.

It’s one version of the story anyway.  And all joking aside, you can see how the messages we send to  our kids might be at odds with the values we’re hoping to instil in them (at the very least, don’t eat from a stranger’s spoon).

And so Thea Chops Books was born.

And if you fancy hearing my version of Jack in the Beanstalk, tune in next week!

Nevertheless, she persisted.
Opinion

Nevertheless, she persisted.

admin

Recently, over on Instgaram, I wrote about the time that I had a slightly sticky conversation with someone about why I write about the things I write about. I think I do it for pretty simple reasons like wanting our children to have equal opportunities in life. The person I was talking to seemed pretty cross that ‘people like you nit pick at everything.’

Later that day I was chatting to someone else about my conversation. Their response? Why even start a conversation like that with someone who is a Septuagenarian, and who you know disagrees with your views. And for a second I wondered if maybe they were right; maybe I should just avoid these topics with some people….. The friend who revels in sharing outdated sexist views about women in the workplace, or about doing jobs around the house, because ‘it just bants, relax, I’m just winding you up’. Or the much older work colleague who claims they are never going to hold a door open again because ‘you feminists want to hold your own doors open’…. You know who I mean. (As a side note, you’ll often hear ‘bants’ used as an excuse for sexism or rudeness, and claiming ‘you feminists all do something’ is as absurd as saying ‘all British people drink at least 5 cups of tea everyday’. I know plenty of Brits who drink 6 cups). But silencing myself to keep someone else happy, that just felt wrong. Not talking about what I believe to be right, in order to not potentially have a difficult conversation. Yeh, that just doesn’t sit comfortably does it?

Because I’m not talking about hurting people. I’m not planning to cancel Christmas, or declare that parents can no longer cook fish fingers with peas at dinnertime (what would we feed the children…..?). I’m talking about basic human rights for everyone. Human rights. Not feminist rights. Human.

So I’ve decided that if I’m asked a question, I shouldn’t shy away from responding honestly. I don’t want to pick a fight with anyone (Lord knows I hate confrontation and would rather run a 10k). But I will persist with my beliefs that girls are equal to boys, and that they should both live exactly the lives they wish, without any stereotypes being forced upon them.

In early 2017 US Democrat Elizabeth Warren was silenced on the senate floor by Mitch McConnell with the words “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.” McConnell’s supporters said she had broken senate rules, and was within his rights, but critics said the language that was used was all too common from those who wish to silence, marginalise or ignore people. I don’t compare myself with a US Senator taking to the house floor to debate (I’d run a 20k to avoid that!), but I do think it’s important for me to remember that it’s ok, not to avoid the tricky conversations. Or none of us will ever learn anything new. And nothing will ever change.