Scrolling through Instagram this morning and a post from @Barbie dropped into my feed. It was announcing a one-of-a-kind doll in recognition of The Queen Consort’s leadership of @wowglobal. Women of the World is a global movement of festivals celebrating women, girls & non-binary people. Their aim is to change the way society sees girls and offers opportunities for their future. And Camilla has been the president of WOW since 2015.
Now. I’m not particularly a royalist, nor a major fan of Camilla, but it was the comments section that got me thinking. Here’s a little taster of the first handful:
“Yes let’s teach our daughters about infidelity and scandal”
“A mistress barbie. Didn’t know this is a thing that inspires.”
“You can be ANYTHING! Including a married man’s mistress!”
Are you seeing a pattern here?
What does the word ‘mistress’ mean?
I googled the word ‘mistress’: 1. a woman in a position of authority or control.”she is always mistress of the situation, coolly self-possessed” 2. a woman (other than the man’s wife) having a sexual relationship with a married man.”Elsie knew her husband had a mistress tucked away somewhere.”
Then I googled, is there a male equivalent of the word ‘mistress’, and there isn’t.
Some websites offered the word ‘paramour’ but it’s a gender neutral word and it doesn’t carry the same historical and societal connotations as mistress; it’s not seen as pejorative.
Labelling Camilla as a mistress, puts the blame squarely on her shoulders. It’s what the word does, it blames the woman for the actions of a man. And frankly, I’m getting rather tired of women being held responsible for the way men act.
Will boys be boys?
For far too long the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ has excused the poor behaviour of boys; bullying, teasing, fighting… It’s often met with shrug and a wry smile, but it allows boys to grow into men who believe they have no control over their actions. That behaving badly is just how they behave. In the playground it’s used when a boy pulls a girl’s ponytail, in the locker room is used for much worse….
It’s part of the reason why I’m writing my next children’s book and putting the message of consent front and centre. I hadn’t thought about including the term ‘boys will be boys’ but I’m obviously thinking that I should be… I’m still writing book 4, but if you want to read something to your boys (to all children!) about not hiding their feelings and not ‘manning up’ I’d definitely recommend my last book, How Frank Helped Hank.
Should Barbie have made a doll of Camilla? I don’t know, I don’t really care! But should we still be labelling ‘the other woman’, ‘the home wrecker’, or ‘the mistress’ while casually dismissing the actions of men..? No. No we shouldn’t. I’d love to know what you think.
If you’re like most parents, and you have just thought: how can there be only 48 hours until World Book Day 2024 and what on earth are they going to dress up as?!?
Take a look at Princess Flo, she’s a maths and science loving princess, who doesn’t want to be the queen when she grows up. She wants to be a great engineer!
Flo’s outfit is pretty easy to replicate, especially if you have either an old Elsa dress-up or a Cinderella outfit in the back of the kids’ wardrobe! Because really, it’s just a long blue dress and a pair of red wellies!
You could add a construction hat if you have one of those in the dress up box too. Chances are you’ll have a yellow one, and Flo’s is white; but we won’t tell anyone!
And if you also have a cape, and a sceptre, well Bob’s your auntie’s live in lover!
World Book Day doesn’t have to mean spending a fortune on a costume.
Any blue dress would work just as well, like this:
I haven’t put any links on there – this isn’t any kind of sponsored post! I just did a quick google and found a couple of of reasonably priced dresses. But you might even have something suitable in the kids’ wardrobe already. There might even be a long sleeved T Shirt of your own that would double as a dress!
As an author I LOVE World Book Day. As a parent, it’s more a case of GAH!!! Helping our tiny humans with a World Book Day outfit can feel stressful; but it doesn’t have to be!
I really hope these suggestions have helped and as always, I would LOVE to see your pictures! Don’t forget to tag me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theachopsbooks/ or email me your photos to suze@theachopsbooks.com
Happy World Book Day everyone! Have a good one. And keep reading!
As World Book Day approaches on March 7th, I find myself thinking about the profound impact that reading has on our tiny humans.
So today, I want to talk about the importance of reading to and with babies and children. And why it’s beneficial for schools to invite authors into their classrooms to share the joy of storytelling.
Reading to kids is not just about entertaining them with colourful pictures and playful words.
It’s a gateway to a world of imagination, knowledge, and emotional development:
Building Bonds: Reading aloud to babies can create a special bond between the parent and child. The soothing rhythm of a story has a calming effect, and fosters a sense of security and attachment.
Language Development: Reading plays a huge in language development. Babies and toddlers who are read to regularly tend to have larger vocabularies and better language skills when they start school.
Cognitive Skills: Reading stimulates the brain and helps develop essential cognitive skills such as attention, memory, and problem-solving abilities. It lays the foundation for academic success later in life. There’s a reason teachers often say if you just do one thing at home with your kids; it’s read to them!
Imagination and Creativity: Stories have the ability to spark the imagination and ignite creativity in young minds. They transport children to magical worlds where anything is possible, which encourages them to dream big and feel inspired.
Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: Books are powerful tools for teaching empathy and emotional intelligence. Through stories about other places and people, children learn to understand and relate to the feelings of others, which encourages compassion and kindness.
Critical Thinking: Reading encourages children to ask questions, make predictions, and draw conclusions. All critical thinking skills that are essential for navigating the complexities of the world.
Cultural Awareness: Exposure to diverse stories and characters promotes cultural awareness and understanding, helping children to develop respect for everyone.
Lifelong Love of Learning: When reading is associated with joy and wonder, children are more likely to continue reading for pleasure throughout their lives.
Just a few reasons eh?!
And so to World Book Day! One of the ways that schools can nurture a love of reading is by inviting authors into their classrooms.
Inspiration and Role Models: Meeting an author can inspire children to see themselves as writers and storytellers. It shows children that their own stories and ideas are valuable and worth sharing.
Connection to the Creative Process: Hearing an author talk about their own work provides an insight into the creative process behind the story. Children learn that books don’t magically appear on shelves but are the result of hard work, imagination, and dedication.
Interactive Learning Experience: Author visits can turn reading into a lively and interactive experience. Children have the opportunity to ask questions, share thoughts, and engage with the story in a meaningful way. This is always one of the best parts of visiting a school as an author: kids can ask the most amazing questions!
Promotion of Literacy: Author visits reinforce the importance of literacy and reading for pleasure. This can create excitement around books and reading, motivating children to explore new stories and genres.
Reading is a superpower! Once a child can read, the world is their oyster! As an author, I think I have a responsibility to share my love of storytelling, and reading with the next generation. That’s why I love to I hear from primary school teachers enquiring about reading to their classes.
So let’s celebrate World Book Day by embracing the magic of reading and inspiring young minds to embark on their own literary adventures.
If you’re an Early Years or a KS1 teacher and you’d like to know more about booking me for a school visit, please email me at suze@thechopsbooks.com or read more here
Hello there fellow parents, key stage 1 primary school teachers and bookworms!
Let’s talk about the impact reading has on both the intellectual, and emotional development of our tiny humans.
We know that there are huge benefits to encouraging a love of reading from an early age; reading lays the foundations for a future of academic success and emotional intelligence. Here are a few ways our little ones benefit from it:
📚 The Dance of the Synapses:
We see: a child engrossed in a colourful storybook, eyes wide, faces smiling. Behind the scenes: their brain is performing a dazzling dance of synapses. According to scientists, children who read books have amazing neural pathways because reading sparks connections, setting the stage for a lifetime of learning.
🎓 School Prep:
We know that children who develop a love for reading early on have the ability to breeze through school with confidence. Reading for pleasure is like a secret weapon, it equips our tiny humans with vocabulary skills that can help to make their school journey a smooth one. Studies show that kids who cozy up with books often outperform their non-reading pals in various subjects.
🌈 The Colours of Empathy:
In early education, teachers believe in nurturing not just intellect but also hearts: reading stories about characters from different walks of life allows our kids to think about families and situations different to theirs… This encourages empathy, which helps to make our little learners compassionate leaders of tomorrow.
📈 You like stats:
According to the wizards of research, children who read for pleasure every day perform better in their academic tests. Reading is like a growth spell for their minds, boosting vocabulary, comprehension, and even mathematical skills. So, if you want your child to soar academically, just hand them a book!
🚀 A Launchpad to Lifelong Learning:
Reading ignites curiosity, fuels imagination, and turns each child into a fearless explorer of knowledge. It’s not just about letters on a page; it’s about ideas, dreams, and the infinite possibilities that unfold with every turn.
In short, reading is a wonderful magical gift! One that we should all encourage more of! And as I type that, I don’t just means, read more of may books… Other books are available! 😉 But obvs, you should definitely get my books for your tiny humans to read!! Don’t forget to let me know what they think about them!
that if little girls weren't encouraged to make themselves quiet and small by society, and if their confidence levels were encouraged, maybe it would help bring about greater equality.
So raising the self esteem of our daughters sounds like a great place to start building their confidence...
So here are 5 ways to boost esteem in girls:
1. Don't raise her to be a people pleaser
We need to encourage girls to stand up, have a voice, & make their own choices. And yes, I fully appreciate this might add time to choosing: a bedtime story / what to wear / what game to play etc in their younger years. But confident assertive girls don't become so at the age of 18 as they leave home; so we have to get used to confident assertive toddlers / tweens / teens. 😳 I know! When Thea speaks my words back to me (Don't wear that hon. My body my choice mum) I have to take a deep breath, & remind myself that I'm helping her to have a voice!
2. Encourage team sports
There's a common correlation between girls who play team sports and levels of esteem. It's thought this is because girls are more likely to look to each other for value, rather than to boys for external validation. During games they also raise each other up based on actions rather than looks.
3. Praise actions & outcomes rather than appearance
It's so easy to say, what a pretty dress, what a pretty girl. And there's nothing wrong with complimenting anyone on these sorts of things. I compliment women in the street all the time: I love your dress! Where did you get it? But let's challenge ourselves to match any appearance based praise with one if not two positive comments on something non-appearance based.
4. Model body neutrality
Mums have a massive impact on their daughter's body image. Avoid asking questions like, do I look fat in this. I can't eat that I've been bad & eaten too much sugar already today. Kids absorb everything we say & do. This also is in effect when we talk about other women's appearances, negatively or positively. So the aim is to follow praise for appearance with praise for something else. Small changes like these can make big differences. Not everybody in the outside world will be sending these same positive messages, so it's good if we try to be a voice for change at home.
5. Get the men on board!
Ask dad or the other men in her life, to join in with trying to raise her up not tear her down. Ask them not to treat her as fragile or helpless; don't infer that they are damsels in distress who need a man to swoop in and rescue them! Ask them to encourage her to join in. With sports, with DIY etc. Ask them if they've ever thought about this, because chances are they won't have; most of us don't question the status quo.
What else can we do to build self confidence in our girls, so they grow up to be confident empowered young women? Let me know what you think.
Man up. What does ‘man up’ even mean anyway? Be more like a man? Are men creatures who don’t get upset? Don’t feel? Don’t want to have a good cry sometimes?
Remember at the start of Love, Actually when Liam Neeson’s character is crying a lot , because his wife had died. And Emma Thompson’s character says to him: Get a grip, people hate sissies. No-one’s ever going to shag you if you cry all the time. Remember that?
Love Actually came out in 2003; time when I admit I viewed the world very differently to how I do today. Then I would definitely have told my male friends to ‘man up’ or not to ‘cry like a girl’. I had no idea of the cumulative impact phrases like this have on men and boys. No idea about the horrendous male suicide rates (75 per week according to ONS figures for 2020). But that line in the film stood out because I think even then I thought, bit harsh, he’s just lost his wife. But we all laughed anyway.
I wonder if that film would be in any way different, if it was made today? I wonder if Emma Thompson would give Liam a copy of our book, How Frank Helped Hank, and say, “Let it out, have a cry, don’t keep it inside, It will help you feel better, you’ll see.” I wrote about an Instagram post by Scarlett Curtis a while back saying that Martine McCutcheon never was, isn’t now, never has been fat, as the character of Natalie was repeatedly referred to in the movie. Again I wonder if that would be any different if made today? I digress. In short, let’s stop saying ‘man up’ shall we? We want our boys to grow up to become men who aren’t afraid to have feelings and share them, rather than bottle it all up like a ‘real man’ would.
Some time ago I came across the Instagram account of Karen Dobres, a director at Lewes FC. In 2017, Lewes became the FIRST professional or semi-professional club in the world to start treating its women footballers the same as its men – the same playing budgets, same pitch, same training facilities. And after just 2 seasons they had quadrupled the women’s gate figures! I wanted to know about this club, about Karen, and so I asked her to write a guest blog post. Grab a cuppa, and have a read: this is a great story (and not just because we learn that women were actually banned from playing football by the FA back in 1921! And mostly likely because women’s games drew greater crowds than the mens!). And do check out the links at the end where you can find out how to become an owner, because Lewes FC is 100% fan-owned and not-for-profit, using the power of football to create social change.
‘Thea Chops Books believes in sharing messages of equality and acceptance, and teaching our little ones that they can be whoever they want in life.’
Suzanne Hemming, Author, Thea Chops Books
Why has Suzanne asked me to write a blog post here about football?
What has football to do with self-acceptance and freedom from stereotyping? What has it to do with your children’s’ futures? And isn’t it one of the last places you’d look for equality and acceptance…?
Why Football?
Let me explain, with two examples from my own kids (boy, now 19; girl, now 23).
In 2017 three things happened in close succession.
1) My daughter passed her driving test, and took her younger brother out for a spin. Loudly and persistently catcalled by two white van men (‘Hey sexy, where you going? etc) she didn’t react at all, so used to it was she at just 18. He though – just 14 and a boy – was flabbergasted. Not only that they had shouted at his sister unprovoked just for existing as a woman, but because she hadn’t batted an eyelid. Now of course at 19 he understands that not only is this behaviour normal, but he must also look out for girlfriends’ and their drinks in nightclubs in case they are spiked, or worse.
2) My daughter and her friends would chat with me around the kitchen table about politics, social issues, and their lives, but seemed to morph into different beings over on Instagram. On that public platform they’d pose in nightclub toilets above captions like ‘Yeah’ and ‘chillin’’. All perfectly fine, but where on earth was the rest of them in public? The thoughts and reflections, the determinations they shared, the substance.
3) My local football club became the first in the world to pay their women footballers the same as their men and made international headlines for our small town. And I didn’t even know women played football.
Don’t judge though.
Unwelcome Women
You see, all my life footballers had been men – on the telly, on the back pages of newspapers, in jacuzzis with WAGS. Football was by men, was consumed by men, and featured men – women were decorations on footballer’s arms. And I’d been to just the one match (Brentford – my cousin played for them), felt threatened by loutish male fans, decided it wasn’t for me, and dropped it from my radar.
Looking back, I’d been meant to feel that way. At school in the 70s we girls weren’t allowed to play football. Only the boys would play – taking up the whole playground at break times to do it – and leaving us girls to jump rope or play hopscotch round the edges.
Following Lewes’ ground-breaking decision, I went down the road to The Dripping Pan to watch Lewes FC Women play and had an epiphany. These young women – strong, powerful, decisive, assertive, and working in a team, right here on a public platform – were the antidote to sexist conditioning that saw women and girls as decorations, and as lesser than boys and men.
The problem was that following this football club’s bold move to split playing budgets down the middle, critics (male ones) were saying the women didn’t deserve to be paid the same because they didn’t draw the same crowds. This was true – at that point Lewes FC Men got an average gate of around 450 and the women just 120.
However, the club responded by targeting and welcoming ‘unwelcome women’, like myself, to the game. But, as I was to learn, it’s truer to say BACK to the game.
Lewes FC Defender Ellie Hack
The Ban
I discovered that women were in fact banned from playing football in this country back in 1921, at a point when they were drawing crowds greater than men could muster. So the FA decided – in a 15 minute meeting – that it was ‘a sport quite unsuitable for women’ and could harm them gynaecologically were they continued to kick a ball and run around a pitch.
Knowing what I know now, as a director of the club, and working with footballers, it hurts and angers me even to write this ‘herstory’. But it drives me too. Because football with 3.6 billion fans (mostly men) around the globe is the world’s most popular sport, and a microcosm of our wider patriarchal society. What happens in football has a huge impact on the actual world. Why? Because it affects men’s heart and minds like nothing else. Think of the men in your life who are fans of the game: how much time and thought do they devote to it? How much passion do they have for it? So where is the best place to demonstrate and have a conversation about the power of gender equality with those who can really do something about it (ie, men)? That’s right, it’s the beautiful game.
Former Lewes FC player Georgia Bridges at The Dripping Pan
Fans Of Change
It took two seasons to quadruple the women’s gate figure by actually letting people know about women’s matches and what they could expect at them. By 2019 the women’s gate had quadrupled and the men’s had risen too, thanks to the boldness and buzz of ‘Equality FC’. There were clever match day posters designed to interest unwelcome women, and themes and campaigns to attract them in solidarity with our cause (Prosecco on tap, and world record for how many suffragettes at a football match anyone?). Both first teams were promoted the season after the introduction of ‘Equality FC’, and the men’s gate rose too. The media attention was overwhelming and remains high to this day.
As sexism and corruption are the wallpaper of football (there are too many examples to mention here but try the location and quality of pitches, TV exposure, pay, resources, medical care, newspaper inches, cup prize figures for starters) our club is streets ahead of others in terms of the way we treat our players, fans and owners.
The agenda of Lewes FC is set by its ownership model. We’re a not-for-profit community benefit society, and as such we use football as a vehicle for social change. We are NOT about making profits for private shareholders, instead we aim to create value for the community who own us. Hence the social campaigning.
L to R Ollie Tanner, Razzaq Coleman De-Graft, Joe Taylor
Call Him Out
The latest step in our gender equality work is our campaign to #CallHimOut.
Because the other side of female empowerment is, of course, the fight against toxic masculinity.
Having formed a ‘SisterShips’ network with like-minded groups empowering women and girls, we were struck as a club, by the outpouring of grief and anger following last year’s high profile spate of violence against women and girls. Our SisterShips were upset at the way women were effectively being made to take responsibility for the violence against them when the onus should be on the perps – who were men.
So, having strong male role models in Lewes FC Men, we discussed what the team as male allies could do. Our amazing male players decided to call out misogynistic language and behaviours in themselves and in their changing room, in the belief that these micro-aggressions could fuel a wider rape culture. They made public pledges on twitter to #CallHimOut, and are now working on the movement through dialogue and awareness training. They aim to mentor our under 18s boys team next.
Inequality is SOOO Last Season
As we welcome more girls and women to our historic ground, ‘The Dripping Pan’, as we tell our story to schools, colleges, journalists and business conferences, so we loosen society’s restrictions a little more. As more girls realise they have a bona fide choice between ballet shoes and football boots, so do boys. As more girls learn the leadership skills football has to offer, so boys learn that they don’t always have to be the strong ones – they can relax, be vulnerable, cry when they need to. As we pay and resource men and women the same in football, so we tell the world, and all our children – it really is ok to be you.
This article was first published in Motherdom Magazine in December 2019.
I’m currently writing my third book, and tackling the subject of toxic masculinity, in illustrated rhyme, for kids aged 3-8. I like a challenge!
But why am I writing about such a big subject for children?
I didn’t really plan to write about toxic masculinity, though I had started to read more about it and become more aware of what an issue it is. And then one day, my daughter and I visited a butterfly house at a local museum. It was beautiful. And hot! Butterfly houses are always hot! But the butterflies themselves were an amazing array of colours, and my daughter loved watching them flutter about the room. Quite magical really.
And then we of course, exited through the gift shop, as one must do leaving a museum of any kind! The shop attached to the butterfly house was, as you’d expect, filled with butterfly-themed toys, games and books. We stood and looked at the shelves of gifts, and next to us stood a small group; two children, a boy and a girl, and I think their mum. While the girl flicked through a book about flowers, the young boy, perhaps aged about 4 or 5, picked up a wand. A beautiful, sparkling, glittering wand that had a shiny lilac butterfly where the star would normally be. He looked up, his face filled with so much excitement that it made me smile watching him, and asked if he could have it. And the mum, snatched it from his hands and said, “What d’you want that for? That’s a bit girly! Why d’you want a girl’s toy?” And she laughed.
This is toxic masculinity. The assumption that boys should behave in a ‘masculine’ way. That behaving like girls, is a bad thing; liking something traditionally thought of as ‘for girls’ is a bad thing; a thing to be mocked.
There is a very set idea, in society, of what it is to be a man: behaving in a certain way, talking in a certain way, hobbies, jobs, colour preferences, the list goes on. Not conforming to these masculine standards can often lead to men being called ‘girly’, or worse. It can lead to bullying, in the playground or in the pub, and can mean that men suppress their true likes and dislikes, in favour of being thought of as “manly”. And so engrained is this idea in society, that we all buy into it, and we’ve all been guilty of thinking that way. Who hasn’t joked with a partner, brother, or friend that they squealed like a girl, ran like a girl, threw like a girl? I’ve definitely done it.
But if we stop and think about the messages these phrases send, to both boys and girls, it does not make make for pretty reading. By the age of six, children associate intelligence with being male, and the importance of ‘niceness’ with being female. It impacts on the gender pay gap, as fewer girls seek jobs in STEM. The more we tell boys to stop behaving like girls, the more likely it is that they will view girls as beneath them, and that the girls will see being female as somehow ‘less than’. This can have implications that lead to higher self harm rates amongst young woman, or contribute to abusive behaviour within male/female relationships.
I think about that little boy, and tell that story when I do book readings in schools. I talk to the children about how that little boy may have felt being belittled by his mum. How the little girl may have felt being told something she might like isn’t good enough for her younger brother. What do children internalise when they hear these messages? Will that little boy ever share what he likes again with the adults in his life? Will he be honest with them, with himself? Will his embarrassment turn to anger and will he go on to mock another child’s preferences? Will that little girl think she is less than her brother? Will her self esteem drop? Will her confidence in her skills or her choices lessen?
Will they be happy?
And that’s why I’m writing my third book, tackling toxic masculinity in illustrated rhyme for kids, boys, and girls, aged 3-8. Because every child deserves the chance to be happy in life. We all do! Being ourselves, doing what we feel is right for us, regardless of what society thinks (about what colour we like, what job we do, whether we stay at home with our children or go back to work, bottle, breast, medical birth, or home birth…. Another list that goes on!), this is the best way to achieve balance and happiness. If doing what feels right is in part important for adult mental wellbeing, then it’s true for kids too.
How Frank Helped Hank was published on 13th October 2020
If you’ve reached this page I imagine you’re as keen as I am for our children to grow up in a more equal society? It can feel like turning an oil tanker around sometimes though can’t it? Promoting gender equality? Makes me think of amazing women like the suffragists and suffragettes. Of Gloria Steinham, Shirley Chisholm and Kamala Harris. If you’re anything like me at this point I start wondering, err I can’t be like them! But there are small things we can do and small changes we can make. So if you’re looking for some quick ways to promote gender equality at home, I’m going to write a series of short blog posts with some of these easy things that we can all do.
First up, don’t always say:
Give it to Daddy, Daddy will fix it
I’m so guilty of this one!! Mostly because usually in the moment I was asked, the toy in question was making too much noise; and I couldn’t be bothered to change the batteries and fix it! I realised though that I was showing Thea that only men know how to fix things! I needed to show her that women can fix things too, even if it meant that annoying plastic remote control would keep singing at me!
This desire to have a go, lead me to fix the boiler one evening when Rich was away with work. I mean true, he wasn’t actually there so what was I gonna do?! But I watched You Tube and I sorted it myself, and got the heating back on. Hurrah!
So if you’re in a male / female household, try to catch yourself from always getting daddy to fix it! #womencan
For easy ways to show boys and girls that girls can do ‘men’s jobs’ why not read them our book, The Queen Engineer, in which a princess wants to become and engineer when she grows up, much to the horror of her father, the king!
In a previous post, I wrote about how Toxic Masculinity is damaging to boys and men. And I mentioned that it can be equally damaging for girls and women. And here’s why:
If you tell a boy that he does something ‘like a girl’ for example cry / throw / run etc, and are using the saying to stop him from doing it that way, or to mock him, both the boy in question, and any boys or girls within earshot, internalise the idea that doing something ‘like a girl’ is bad.
To the girls internalising this message, they unconsciously take on board the idea that to be a girl is less than, that they are the other sex, second in line to boys. For the boys who hear it, they too internalise the idea that girls are less than they are. Not much room for men and women to view and treat each other as equals if they grow up with this unconscious bias.
And what if a boy enjoys doing something, like many girls are known to do? Play with dolls, wear pink, dance? Tell this boy often enough that he has to stop being like a girl, and at best, he will hide his true feelings, his likes and dislikes from you. He may deliberately act in a more ‘boyish’ way to further hide his preferences for toys or favourite colours, and internalise any shame he feels for liking something you’ve made fun of. At worst. this shame might lead him to mock other boys, or to take out his frustrations on girls, people who he sees being able to make the choices he can’t. Shame him enough and he might never show his feelings again, or choose to hide them with aggression to prove how ‘manly’ he is, which can only have a negative impact on the women in his life, be that a sister, friend or partner.
So while toxic masculinity is damaging to boys and men, it’s pretty rubbish for girls and women too. No one wins.
Not much room for men and women to view and treat each other as equals if they grow up with this unconscious bias.
