Encouraging Gender Equality #1

If you’ve reached this page I imagine you’re as keen as I am for our children to grow up in a more equal society? It can feel like turning an oil tanker around sometimes though can’t it? Promoting gender equality? Makes me think of amazing women like the suffragists and suffragettes. Of Gloria Steinham, Shirley Chisholm and Kamala Harris. If you’re anything like me at this point I start wondering, err I can’t be like them! But there are small things we can do and small changes we can make. So if you’re looking for some quick ways to promote gender equality at home, I’m going to write a series of short blog posts with some of these easy things that we can all do.

First up, don’t always say:

Give it to Daddy, Daddy will fix it

I’m so guilty of this one!! Mostly because usually in the moment I was asked, the toy in question was making too much noise; and I couldn’t be bothered to change the batteries and fix it! I realised though that I was showing Thea that only men know how to fix things! I needed to show her that women can fix things too, even if it meant that annoying plastic remote control would keep singing at me!

This desire to have a go, lead me to fix the boiler one evening when Rich was away with work. I mean true, he wasn’t actually there so what was I gonna do?! But I watched You Tube and I sorted it myself, and got the heating back on. Hurrah!

So if you’re in a male / female household, try to catch yourself from always getting daddy to fix it! #womencan

For easy ways to show boys and girls that girls can do ‘men’s jobs’ why not read them our book, The Queen Engineer, in which a princess wants to become and engineer when she grows up, much to the horror of her father, the king!

Why Toxic Masculinity Hurts Women Too

Featured admin

In a previous post, I wrote about how Toxic Masculinity is damaging to boys and men. And I mentioned that it can be equally damaging for girls and women. And here’s why:

If you tell a boy that he does something ‘like a girl’ for example cry / throw / run etc, and are using the saying to stop him from doing it that way, or to mock him, both the boy in question, and any boys or girls within earshot, internalise the idea that doing something ‘like a girl’ is bad.

To the girls internalising this message, they unconsciously take on board the idea that to be a girl is less than, that they are the other sex, second in line to boys. For the boys who hear it, they too internalise the idea that girls are less than they are. Not much room for men and women to view and treat each other as equals if they grow up with this unconscious bias.

And what if a boy enjoys doing something, like many girls are known to do? Play with dolls, wear pink, dance? Tell this boy often enough that he has to stop being like a girl, and at best, he will hide his true feelings, his likes and dislikes from you. He may deliberately act in a more ‘boyish’ way to further hide his preferences for toys or favourite colours, and internalise any shame he feels for liking something you’ve made fun of. At worst. this shame might lead him to mock other boys, or to take out his frustrations on girls, people who he sees being able to make the choices he can’t. Shame him enough and he might never show his feelings again, or choose to hide them with aggression to prove how ‘manly’ he is, which can only have a negative impact on the women in his life, be that a sister, friend or partner.

So while toxic masculinity is damaging to boys and men, it’s pretty rubbish for girls and women too. No one wins.

Not much room for men and women to view and treat each other as equals if they grow up with this unconscious bias.

Company News

International Women’s Day 2019

4 March 20194 March 2019 admin

This year’s International Women’s Day is on Friday 8th March. Some people may (will) ask, why do we need an international women’s day? What about an international men’s day? Well. First of all, there is an IMD: it’s on 19th November. And secondly, whenever anyone responds to just about any question with, what about, you pretty much have answered the question as to why you needed it in the first place!

See IWD isn’t about men; it’s about celebrating women. Their achievements. Their acts of courage and determination. Their attempts to create change and a more equal world for everyone. So if you make it about men, by asking what about, then you’re missing the point altogether.

It’s like someone doing a sponsored run for Cancer Research, and saying, but what about heart disease? But, what about it? In choosing to run for research in cancer, we’re not ignoring heart disease. This sponsored run is for cancer research, because for this moment time, we want to focus on that. Doesn’t mean heart disease doesn’t exist, or isn’t worthy of our attention. Just right now, we’re focussing on cancer research.

But more often than not, people don’t say things like that. When you set up your Just Giving page and share it with friends and family, they either donate, or they don’t. Rarely would anyone openly challenge your decision to run 10k, and donate the sponsorship money to a worth while cause. But so often, when you say you’re a feminist, or that you’re celebrating a female focused event, like IWD, people challenge your thinking, and often, in the way they challenge, they make it about men.

But as we’ve already said, IWD is about celebrating women. Though it officially became recognised in 1975 by the United Nations, there were a number of celebrations and days of observance dating back to 1909, when a National Women’s Day was held in New York. And in 1914, on March 8th, there was a march from Bow in East London to Trafalgar Square in support of woman’s suffrage. This was also the day that Sylvia Pankhurst (Emmeline’s daughter) was arrested outside Charing Cross Station, on her way to speak in Trafalgar Square. So it’s rather fitting that we chose International Woman’s Day, to celebrate the launch our collaboration with Cotton Twist: a make your own Emmeline Pankhurst peg doll.

So on this International Women’s Day, I shall be thinking about Emmeline and all the brave women who stood by her side, campaigning for a woman’s right to vote. So much has changed since then, and there are still so many amazing women (and men) today, lobbying and creating positive change for future generations of girls and boys. And that is certainly something to celebrate.

The make your own Emmeline Pankhurst peg doll is a Thea Chops Books collaboration with Cotton Twist, and the first in their Wonderful Women range.

Opinion

Nevertheless, she persisted.

23 January 201923 January 2019 admin

Recently, over on Instgaram, I wrote about the time that I had a slightly sticky conversation with someone about why I write about the things I write about. I think I do it for pretty simple reasons like wanting our children to have equal opportunities in life. The person I was talking to seemed pretty cross that ‘people like you nit pick at everything.’

Later that day I was chatting to someone else about my conversation. Their response? Why even start a conversation like that with someone who is a Septuagenarian, and who you know disagrees with your views. And for a second I wondered if maybe they were right; maybe I should just avoid these topics with some people….. The friend who revels in sharing outdated sexist views about women in the workplace, or about doing jobs around the house, because ‘it just bants, relax, I’m just winding you up’. Or the much older work colleague who claims they are never going to hold a door open again because ‘you feminists want to hold your own doors open’…. You know who I mean. (As a side note, you’ll often hear ‘bants’ used as an excuse for sexism or rudeness, and claiming ‘you feminists all do something’ is as absurd as saying ‘all British people drink at least 5 cups of tea everyday’. I know plenty of Brits who drink 6 cups). But silencing myself to keep someone else happy, that just felt wrong. Not talking about what I believe to be right, in order to not potentially have a difficult conversation. Yeh, that just doesn’t sit comfortably does it?

Because I’m not talking about hurting people. I’m not planning to cancel Christmas, or declare that parents can no longer cook fish fingers with peas at dinnertime (what would we feed the children…..?). I’m talking about basic human rights for everyone. Human rights. Not feminist rights. Human.

So I’ve decided that if I’m asked a question, I shouldn’t shy away from responding honestly. I don’t want to pick a fight with anyone (Lord knows I hate confrontation and would rather run a 10k). But I will persist with my beliefs that girls are equal to boys, and that they should both live exactly the lives they wish, without any stereotypes being forced upon them.

In early 2017 US Democrat Elizabeth Warren was silenced on the senate floor by Mitch McConnell with the words “She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.” McConnell’s supporters said she had broken senate rules, and was within his rights, but critics said the language that was used was all too common from those who wish to silence, marginalise or ignore people. I don’t compare myself with a US Senator taking to the house floor to debate (I’d run a 20k to avoid that!), but I do think it’s important for me to remember that it’s ok, not to avoid the tricky conversations. Or none of us will ever learn anything new. And nothing will ever change.

Company News · Events

Raising Humans Over Supper – Event

18 May 2018 Suzanne Hemming

In December 2017 we hosted a panel event called Raising Humans. We talked to two guest speakers (from Let Toys Be Toys and These Two Dudes) about why they believe gender equality is important for our children and why it starts when kids are young. It was a really great morning of fascinating information and interesting discussion.

So we decided to do it again!

On Tuesday 5th June we’re holding Raising Humans Over Supper, an opportunity to hear and discuss equality in childhood with Olivia Dickinson from Let Toys be Toys and Alex Mees from These Two Dudes, while enjoying the wonderful home cooked food from Salvation Suppers Chef, Susan Foynes. It will take place at Space @ 61 in SE15, and start at 7:30pm. So it’s an opportunity to leave the kids at home, forget about your day and feed both your brain and stomach all while meeting some wonderful people.

The format for the event is:

19:30 welcome drinks and canapés

20:15 sit down and a brief intro to the night

20:30 our delicious main course will served

21:30 pudding and panel discussion, followed by mint tea and questions

23:00 carriages / uber / shank’s pony / the number 343 to Peckham Rye station

We’d love to have you join us for what we know will be a wonderfully delicious and interesting evening. All you have to do is BYOB, and click on the image below to buy your ticket! Seats are limited so do grab one before they all go!

See you there!

Equality Issues

The Gender Pay Gap – why does it matter?

4 April 2018 Suzanne Hemming

UK organisations with 250 or more employees, have until midnight on Wednesday 4th April, to met their legal requirement to report their gender pay gap data. Of those who have already published their findings, 78% pay men more than they pay women.

The Pay Gap is not the same as as equal pay: since the Equal Pay Act of 1970, and the more recent Equality Act of 2010, it is unlawful for a company to pay people unequally because of their gender, and this applies to all employers no matter how large or small.

So a gender pay gap might exist where more men than women are in top level jobs (and vice versa of course). Now, this might prompt some people to say, well if men have worked hard and risen to the top of the management tree, don’t they deserve a salary to reflect that hard work, experience and responsibility? And surely no-one would deny paying someone in line with the requirements of the job?

So why are the government asking companies to assess and publish data? Why does it matter?

There’s no simple answer to this; it’s a complex issue and one which is reflective of societal issues as much as anything else.

The Fawcett Society (which is a group that campaigns for equality), says that caring responsibilities play a part, as it is more likely that a woman will care for young children, or for the elderly, meaning they are more likely to work in lower paid, part time roles, and which often have fewer opportunities for career progression. We have a divided labour market (women are still more likely to work in these lower skilled / lower paid jobs than men), and discrimination is another likely cause: it has been reported that one in nine new mothers were either made redundant (or dismissed) or treated so poorly they felt that they had no choice but to leave their job. This of course creates a gap in experience, and so when those women choose to return to work at a later date, it can lead to lower wages. And in general, more men than women, hold more senior roles in more companies, and the more senior a role, the more likely it is to have a higher wage.

A number of the companies who have already published their data, have said that their gap is due to that final reason: they have more men in top level jobs. Of these companies, some chose to add that men and women working in the same role are equally paid (which shouldn’t really need to said, as already mentioned above, it has been illegal to not do so since 1970!).

And so again, it might prompt some people to ask, why does this all matter? Why force companies to publish such sensitive data?

Because we can’t to do anything to address these differences (and their reasons) until we establish what the differences are. Why are there more men in senior roles than women? Why are around 54,000 new mothers losing their jobs each year? Why do 44% of managers feel that mothers could become a burden to their team?

I’m not alone in thinking that it’s because we live in a fairly unequal society, which starts in childhood. Boys and girls and treated differently from the moment they’re born. Girls are sugar and spice and all things nice, and boys are encouraged to be the leaders of tomorrow, confident and loud and strong! If we continue to tell girls to sit nicely and be quiet, we’ll have another generation of young women who don’t have the confidence to argue their place in either society or a company. If we continue to tell boys that they have to be strong, and lead and that girls are not the same as them, we’ll have another generation of young men who might think this pay gap isn’t a issue that needs addressing.

Some people of course won’t agree with this; some will say let kids be kids, stop putting your own labels and issues on them!! Some people will also say that addressing the pay gap issue by forcing companies to publish data, and encouraging firms to set recruitment targets or quotas, means that hiring the ‘right person for the right job’ no longer applies, that someone will only be hired because they ‘ticked a box’. That particular argument implies that currently, the right person is always in the right job! The simple law of odds means that can’t be the case! In a society that is roughly 50/50 men/women, why is it 54,000 mothers lose their jobs due to maternity discrimination each year, but the 54,000 men who become new parents don’t?

Companies who are shown to have a gender pay gap, won’t be ‘punished’ when their data is published. But it is likely that society, and the media, will ask them why? That potential employees will have concerns about working for them. That other businesses will have concerns about working with them. And given that a report published in 2016 stated that improved gender parity could add £150 billion to the UK economy, why wouldn’t both companies and society, want to close the gender pay gap?

Click here to read more about the work of The Fawcett Society. And do read about the wonderful #flexappeal campaign run by Mother Pukka, who has also recently teamed up with Pregnant then Screwed to set up and run the #Workitout forum, a space for working parents to find support and solutions.

Tag: gender equality