Showing Boys It’s Okay to Feel and Why Modern Masculinity is So Important for Boys and Men.
Who watched Celebrity Traitors?
Did you see the moment shared by Alan Carr, Nick Mohammed and David Olusoga? I won’t describe it too much in this blog post just in case there’s someone who hasn’t seen the final yet! But Alan broke down in tears and was immediately supported with kind words and hugs by Nick and David. It was one of those rare moments that actually stopped me in my tracks, not because it was loud or dramatic, but because it was quiet, kind and full of emotional honesty. Three grown men showing warmth, vulnerability and genuine support for one another, on a public stage, without embarrassment or ego. A simple act of non toxic masculinity, yet somehow it still feels revolutionary.
We hear a lot, and rightly so, about women supporting women, and how powerful that solidarity can be (as Madeline Albright once famously said, “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women”). But watching men openly support men in the same way hits differently, because we don’t see it enough. Not like this. Not without irony, bravado or a joke to soften it. Just compassion, pride and care, plain and simple.
I wanted to create a story that shows children, especially little boys, that feeling sad, crying or needing comfort isn’t something to “grow out of”. It’s something to grow with. Emotions aren’t a weakness, they are part of being a human being, and boys deserve to know that as early as possible.
Too many adults are now unlearning what they were taught as children; that boys should toughen up, keep quiet, or “man up”. And it’s exhausting work, undoing messages you absorbed before you even knew what they meant. So if we can start earlier, if we can give children different words and better examples, then maybe they won’t have to fix themselves later.
Watching that moment unfold felt like seeing the very heart of my book played out in real life. Gentle, supportive masculinity, right there, in front of millions.
If this is the future of masculinity, then I’m here for it!
Let’s keep showing boys that it’s okay to cry, to feel deeply, to care loudly and to stand beside each other.
Because it matters. So much more than we realise.
And if you’ve already seen it and you’re not worried about spoilers, you can see more here!
There are worse things to watch before bed than The Handmaid’s Tale, I know. But I’ve been re-watching it in 2025, and it’s hitting me differently. Sharper. Heavier. Closer to home than I’d like.
And it’s reminded me (forcefully, urgently), why I write the kind of children’s books I do.
People have asked (usually politely, sometimes not): Why do you, a children’s author, post about politics on Instagram? Why the angry captions? Why the news commentary mixed in with picture books?
My response is always the same, and very simple: because it’s all connected. What we teach children on our laps shapes who they become, what they tolerate, and what they stay silent about as adults.
Is it really fiction?
The Handmaid’s Tale is dystopian fiction. But in 2025, it doesn’t feel like fiction. It feels like a warning we ignored. Women’s rights are being stripped back. People are banning books. Politicians are using fear to control the narrative. And so many people are shrugging and scrolling.
Watching it again, I’m reminded how quickly freedoms can vanish when people look the other way. When they convince themselves that issues of equality, acceptance, and autonomy are too political to talk about around children.
But that’s exactly when we should be talking about them.
My books might be full of rhyme and silliness and giggles, but the message beneath the rhymes matters. That both girls and boys are smart, brave, and capable, and should be free to be themselves. That being different doesn’t mean being less. That kindness is a superpower. That everyone deserves to belong.
That might seem small. But it’s how it starts. Because before someone burns a book, they have to believe that book is dangerous. Before someone sees a woman as property, they have to believe she’s less. Before someone hurts another person for who they are, they have to believe that person is other.
And belief starts young.
So yes, I write rhyming children’s books. But I also post about politics. I call out injustice. I talk about the importance of raising kids who understand equality not just as a concept, but as a way of living.
Because The Handmaid’s Tale might be fiction, but it’s also a mirror. And I want no child growing up thinking the reflection it shows is normal.
Back to my re-watch. (And no, I’m not sleeping well. But I am writing faster.)
For a book that teaches boys and girls that we can all wear different hats in life, and that who we are should not be determined by another person, read The Queen Engineer
For a book that teaches boys and girls that it’s okay for boys (and men) to cry, show their feelings, and feel their emotions, read How Frank Helped Hank
Recently, Saoirse Ronan’s comment on The Graham Norton Show went viral. For an important reason.
Eddie Redmayne recounted a safety tip (involving use of his mobile phone) which he had been given while learning self defence, and Paul Mescal joked: who has time to think about reaching for a phone when being attacked.
Ronan simply said, “It’s what girls have to think about all the time.” which at first silenced the room, and was then met by applause after she followed with, “Am I right ladies?”
Ronan subtly redirected the conversation by addressing the reality that many women are often on high alert to threats to their safety. It was a powerful reminder that even decent men like Mescal, may not fully grasp the weight women carry, around daily concerns about personal safety.
This resonated with so many because it highlighted the often unseen, ongoing vigilance that women maintain in spaces where they should feel safe. Like for example simply going for a walk.
Violence against women and girls (VAWG) isn’t just a “women’s issue” but a serious societal problem, impacting how women navigate public spaces and relationships
Saoirse’s remark was a gentle, but necessary reminder: even the good guys need to recognise and acknowledge the reality women live with daily.
While the clip may have gone viral, the discussion on The Graham Norton Show isn’t just a “viral moment”; it’s an important conversation starter. It invites everyone to consider how we can all be more mindful of the challenges women face and why it’s crucial for everyone, especially men, to be allies in creating a safer, more aware society.
As Christmas approaches, parents, grandparents, and friends often search for the perfect gifts that bring joy, inspire creativity, and have lasting value. In a world full of flashy toys and electronic gadgets, it’s easy to overlook one of the simplest yet most rewarding gifts you can give a child: a book. Now, as an author, I may be a tad biased!! But here’s why I think books make the best Christmas presents for children, and why they’ll always be a timeless choice under the tree.
1. Encouraging a Lifelong Love of Reading
Giving a child a book can spark a love of reading that will last a lifetime. Books offer an immersive experience that nurtures the imagination, helps children develop empathy, and broadens their understanding of the world. And! By starting them on this journey when young, you’re planting the seeds for a habit that not only benefits their education, but also becomes a source of lifelong pleasure.
2. Books Are Educational, But Never Boring
While many gifts focus on entertainment, books strike the perfect balance between fun and learning. Whether it’s a fantastical adventure, a beautifully illustrated picture book (ahem, like mine!), or an educational story, children are learning new things without even realising it. From vocabulary building to learning problem-solving skills, books engage their brains in ways that screen-based gifts simply can’t.
3. They Encourage Family Bonding
The gift of a book can be an invitation to quality time. Reading together as a family, whether it’s a bedtime story or a shared reading adventure, creates moments of bonding that are irreplaceable. It’s a chance for parents and children to connect, unwind, and share the magic of storytelling. I was never a huge fan of bedtime story time, but Thea and I would often curl up on the sofa in the afternoons to read together.
4. Nurture the Imagination
Books are the ultimate playground for the mind. A great story encourages children to dream, to put themselves in others’ shoes, and to see the world from new perspectives. While toys may offer a few hours of entertainment, a book provides endless adventures and characters that linger in their imaginations long after the last page has been turned.
5. They Can Be Personalised
One of the unique aspects of books as gifts is the ability to tailor them to the child’s interests or even personalise them. Whether it’s a story about dinosaurs, fairies, space travel, or everyday adventures, there’s a book for every child. Some publishers even offer personalised books where the child becomes the hero, adding a special touch to their Christmas present.
6. A Break from Technology
In a world where children are increasingly surrounded by screens, giving a book provides a much-needed break from technology. It’s a chance for children to engage with a physical object, turn the pages themselves, and let their imagination take over without the overstimulation that often comes from digital devices. Often Thea and I come to agreements that she’ll read for 30 minutes then she can use a device for 30 minutes. It works for us!
7. A Gift That Lasts
While some toys or gadgets may break or lose their appeal after a few weeks, books are a gift that endures. A cherished book can be read over and over again, shared with siblings or friends, and even passed down through generations. For younger children, picture books become a comforting presence, while older kids can revisit their favourite stories as they grow.
8. Books Teach Important Life Lessons
Beyond the enjoyment, books often teach children valuable life lessons—about kindness, friendship, perseverance, and empathy. A well-chosen book can help a child navigate tricky situations in life or reinforce positive behaviour in a way that’s meaningful to them. Again, although a tad biased, if you’re looking for books that teach children about equality, diversity, inclusion or acceptance, I can highly recommend my books!
9. Inspiring Creativity
Reading isn’t a passive activity; it requires a child to actively engage their mind. When children read, they visualise characters and settings, hear the voices of the story’s characters in their heads, and imagine the twists and turns of the plot. This kind of creative engagement is crucial for a child’s cognitive and emotional development.
10. A Sustainable, Thoughtful Gift
Finally, in a season often filled with excess, books make for a thoughtful, sustainable gift. They don’t rely on batteries or contribute to clutter. And if you’re looking for an eco-friendly Christmas, choosing books over plastic toys can be a step in the right direction.
And so…
Books are more than just presents; they are little windows into other worlds, keys to knowledge, and friends for life. This Christmas, consider popping a few titles under the tree for the children in your life. Particularly given that my books are currently on sale in the run up to Black Friday! You’re not only giving your tiny humans something to unwrap on Christmas morning—you’re giving them the gift of imagination, learning, and countless hours of joy.
Which one will put under the Christmas tree this year?
And the simple answer was I learned about toxic masculinity and the negative effect is has on boys and men.
But in researching the subject, I also learned about the negative effect it has on women.
Toxic masculinity doesn’t just harm men—its impact on women is equally damaging. When boys are told not to “act like girls” by showing their emotions, or engaging in certain activities (for example boy who love to dance, or play with dolls), the underlying message for girls is that being feminine is lesser.
These subtle reinforcements and they are of course subtle – generally in life we are shaped by many many micro moments – shape how girls view themselves from a young age. Often for young girls, internalising the idea that femininity is weak or undesirable, can lead to feelings of inadequacy, pushing pushing to question their worth, especially in male-dominated spaces. This continues throughout the teenage years and into womanhood, until we almost believe it ourselves that we are less than.
And as girls grow into women, the effects become more pronounced.
Women may avoid leadership roles or downplay their achievements in fear of being seen as overly aggressive or unfeminine. Relationships, too, are affected, as women may feel their emotional needs are devalued or dismissed, leading to an unhealthy imbalance where they aren’t taken seriously. The ripple effect of toxic masculinity impacts gender dynamics at every level, making it harder for men and women to relate as equals.
Both genders suffer, but often people assume that toxic masculinity only affects men.
But the impact on women is equally damaging and the cost is often in their emotional well-being and self-worth.
I wrote How Frank Helped Hank thinking it would be a book for little boys, but realised just like my other books, it’s a book for all children, regardless of their gender.
Scrolling through Instagram this morning and a post from @Barbie dropped into my feed. It was announcing a one-of-a-kind doll in recognition of The Queen Consort’s leadership of @wowglobal. Women of the World is a global movement of festivals celebrating women, girls & non-binary people. Their aim is to change the way society sees girls and offers opportunities for their future. And Camilla has been the president of WOW since 2015.
Now. I’m not particularly a royalist, nor a major fan of Camilla, but it was the comments section that got me thinking. Here’s a little taster of the first handful:
“Yes let’s teach our daughters about infidelity and scandal”
“A mistress barbie. Didn’t know this is a thing that inspires.”
“You can be ANYTHING! Including a married man’s mistress!”
Are you seeing a pattern here?
What does the word ‘mistress’ mean?
I googled the word ‘mistress’: 1. a woman in a position of authority or control.”she is always mistress of the situation, coolly self-possessed” 2. a woman (other than the man’s wife) having a sexual relationship with a married man.”Elsie knew her husband had a mistress tucked away somewhere.”
Then I googled, is there a male equivalent of the word ‘mistress’, and there isn’t.
Some websites offered the word ‘paramour’ but it’s a gender neutral word and it doesn’t carry the same historical and societal connotations as mistress; it’s not seen as pejorative.
Labelling Camilla as a mistress, puts the blame squarely on her shoulders. It’s what the word does, it blames the woman for the actions of a man. And frankly, I’m getting rather tired of women being held responsible for the way men act.
Will boys be boys?
For far too long the phrase ‘boys will be boys’ has excused the poor behaviour of boys; bullying, teasing, fighting… It’s often met with shrug and a wry smile, but it allows boys to grow into men who believe they have no control over their actions. That behaving badly is just how they behave. In the playground it’s used when a boy pulls a girl’s ponytail, in the locker room is used for much worse….
It’s part of the reason why I’m writing my next children’s book and putting the message of consent front and centre. I hadn’t thought about including the term ‘boys will be boys’ but I’m obviously thinking that I should be… I’m still writing book 4, but if you want to read something to your boys (to all children!) about not hiding their feelings and not ‘manning up’ I’d definitely recommend my last book, How Frank Helped Hank.
Should Barbie have made a doll of Camilla? I don’t know, I don’t really care! But should we still be labelling ‘the other woman’, ‘the home wrecker’, or ‘the mistress’ while casually dismissing the actions of men..? No. No we shouldn’t. I’d love to know what you think.
If you’re like most parents, and you have just thought: how can there be only 48 hours until World Book Day 2024 and what on earth are they going to dress up as?!?
Take a look at Princess Flo, she’s a maths and science loving princess, who doesn’t want to be the queen when she grows up. She wants to be a great engineer!
Flo’s outfit is pretty easy to replicate, especially if you have either an old Elsa dress-up or a Cinderella outfit in the back of the kids’ wardrobe! Because really, it’s just a long blue dress and a pair of red wellies!
You could add a construction hat if you have one of those in the dress up box too. Chances are you’ll have a yellow one, and Flo’s is white; but we won’t tell anyone!
And if you also have a cape, and a sceptre, well Bob’s your auntie’s live in lover!
World Book Day doesn’t have to mean spending a fortune on a costume.
Any blue dress would work just as well, like this:
I haven’t put any links on there – this isn’t any kind of sponsored post! I just did a quick google and found a couple of of reasonably priced dresses. But you might even have something suitable in the kids’ wardrobe already. There might even be a long sleeved T Shirt of your own that would double as a dress!
As an author I LOVE World Book Day. As a parent, it’s more a case of GAH!!! Helping our tiny humans with a World Book Day outfit can feel stressful; but it doesn’t have to be!
I really hope these suggestions have helped and as always, I would LOVE to see your pictures! Don’t forget to tag me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theachopsbooks/ or email me your photos to suze@theachopsbooks.com
Happy World Book Day everyone! Have a good one. And keep reading!
As World Book Day approaches on March 7th, I find myself thinking about the profound impact that reading has on our tiny humans.
So today, I want to talk about the importance of reading to and with babies and children. And why it’s beneficial for schools to invite authors into their classrooms to share the joy of storytelling.
Reading to kids is not just about entertaining them with colourful pictures and playful words.
It’s a gateway to a world of imagination, knowledge, and emotional development:
Building Bonds: Reading aloud to babies can create a special bond between the parent and child. The soothing rhythm of a story has a calming effect, and fosters a sense of security and attachment.
Language Development: Reading plays a huge in language development. Babies and toddlers who are read to regularly tend to have larger vocabularies and better language skills when they start school.
Cognitive Skills: Reading stimulates the brain and helps develop essential cognitive skills such as attention, memory, and problem-solving abilities. It lays the foundation for academic success later in life. There’s a reason teachers often say if you just do one thing at home with your kids; it’s read to them!
Imagination and Creativity: Stories have the ability to spark the imagination and ignite creativity in young minds. They transport children to magical worlds where anything is possible, which encourages them to dream big and feel inspired.
Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: Books are powerful tools for teaching empathy and emotional intelligence. Through stories about other places and people, children learn to understand and relate to the feelings of others, which encourages compassion and kindness.
Critical Thinking: Reading encourages children to ask questions, make predictions, and draw conclusions. All critical thinking skills that are essential for navigating the complexities of the world.
Cultural Awareness: Exposure to diverse stories and characters promotes cultural awareness and understanding, helping children to develop respect for everyone.
Lifelong Love of Learning: When reading is associated with joy and wonder, children are more likely to continue reading for pleasure throughout their lives.
Just a few reasons eh?!
And so to World Book Day! One of the ways that schools can nurture a love of reading is by inviting authors into their classrooms.
Inspiration and Role Models: Meeting an author can inspire children to see themselves as writers and storytellers. It shows children that their own stories and ideas are valuable and worth sharing.
Connection to the Creative Process: Hearing an author talk about their own work provides an insight into the creative process behind the story. Children learn that books don’t magically appear on shelves but are the result of hard work, imagination, and dedication.
Interactive Learning Experience: Author visits can turn reading into a lively and interactive experience. Children have the opportunity to ask questions, share thoughts, and engage with the story in a meaningful way. This is always one of the best parts of visiting a school as an author: kids can ask the most amazing questions!
Promotion of Literacy: Author visits reinforce the importance of literacy and reading for pleasure. This can create excitement around books and reading, motivating children to explore new stories and genres.
Reading is a superpower! Once a child can read, the world is their oyster! As an author, I think I have a responsibility to share my love of storytelling, and reading with the next generation. That’s why I love to I hear from primary school teachers enquiring about reading to their classes.
So let’s celebrate World Book Day by embracing the magic of reading and inspiring young minds to embark on their own literary adventures.
If you’re an Early Years or a KS1 teacher and you’d like to know more about booking me for a school visit, please email me at suze@thechopsbooks.com or read more here
Hello there fellow parents, key stage 1 primary school teachers and bookworms!
Let’s talk about the impact reading has on both the intellectual, and emotional development of our tiny humans.
We know that there are huge benefits to encouraging a love of reading from an early age; reading lays the foundations for a future of academic success and emotional intelligence. Here are a few ways our little ones benefit from it:
📚 The Dance of the Synapses:
We see: a child engrossed in a colourful storybook, eyes wide, faces smiling. Behind the scenes: their brain is performing a dazzling dance of synapses. According to scientists, children who read books have amazing neural pathways because reading sparks connections, setting the stage for a lifetime of learning.
🎓 School Prep:
We know that children who develop a love for reading early on have the ability to breeze through school with confidence. Reading for pleasure is like a secret weapon, it equips our tiny humans with vocabulary skills that can help to make their school journey a smooth one. Studies show that kids who cozy up with books often outperform their non-reading pals in various subjects.
🌈 The Colours of Empathy:
In early education, teachers believe in nurturing not just intellect but also hearts: reading stories about characters from different walks of life allows our kids to think about families and situations different to theirs… This encourages empathy, which helps to make our little learners compassionate leaders of tomorrow.
📈 You like stats:
According to the wizards of research, children who read for pleasure every day perform better in their academic tests. Reading is like a growth spell for their minds, boosting vocabulary, comprehension, and even mathematical skills. So, if you want your child to soar academically, just hand them a book!
🚀 A Launchpad to Lifelong Learning:
Reading ignites curiosity, fuels imagination, and turns each child into a fearless explorer of knowledge. It’s not just about letters on a page; it’s about ideas, dreams, and the infinite possibilities that unfold with every turn.
In short, reading is a wonderful magical gift! One that we should all encourage more of! And as I type that, I don’t just means, read more of may books… Other books are available! 😉 But obvs, you should definitely get my books for your tiny humans to read!! Don’t forget to let me know what they think about them!
that if little girls weren't encouraged to make themselves quiet and small by society, and if their confidence levels were encouraged, maybe it would help bring about greater equality.
So raising the self esteem of our daughters sounds like a great place to start building their confidence...
So here are 5 ways to boost esteem in girls:
1. Don't raise her to be a people pleaser
We need to encourage girls to stand up, have a voice, & make their own choices. And yes, I fully appreciate this might add time to choosing: a bedtime story / what to wear / what game to play etc in their younger years. But confident assertive girls don't become so at the age of 18 as they leave home; so we have to get used to confident assertive toddlers / tweens / teens. 😳 I know! When Thea speaks my words back to me (Don't wear that hon. My body my choice mum) I have to take a deep breath, & remind myself that I'm helping her to have a voice!
2. Encourage team sports
There's a common correlation between girls who play team sports and levels of esteem. It's thought this is because girls are more likely to look to each other for value, rather than to boys for external validation. During games they also raise each other up based on actions rather than looks.
3. Praise actions & outcomes rather than appearance
It's so easy to say, what a pretty dress, what a pretty girl. And there's nothing wrong with complimenting anyone on these sorts of things. I compliment women in the street all the time: I love your dress! Where did you get it? But let's challenge ourselves to match any appearance based praise with one if not two positive comments on something non-appearance based.
4. Model body neutrality
Mums have a massive impact on their daughter's body image. Avoid asking questions like, do I look fat in this. I can't eat that I've been bad & eaten too much sugar already today. Kids absorb everything we say & do. This also is in effect when we talk about other women's appearances, negatively or positively. So the aim is to follow praise for appearance with praise for something else. Small changes like these can make big differences. Not everybody in the outside world will be sending these same positive messages, so it's good if we try to be a voice for change at home.
5. Get the men on board!
Ask dad or the other men in her life, to join in with trying to raise her up not tear her down. Ask them not to treat her as fragile or helpless; don't infer that they are damsels in distress who need a man to swoop in and rescue them! Ask them to encourage her to join in. With sports, with DIY etc. Ask them if they've ever thought about this, because chances are they won't have; most of us don't question the status quo.
What else can we do to build self confidence in our girls, so they grow up to be confident empowered young women? Let me know what you think.
